The end of one journal;

Tonight, I finished my journal. On the last page, I did a quick reflection of the past year and made me realise just how much went on in the past 12 months. I grew apart with so many old friends, some friendships ended in a fight. I put my heart into a lot of things and didn’t get the same back but I learnt a lot of lessons along the way. I went on one life changing holiday that has made me the focused person I am today, as well as two short holidays on the side.

In the end, I changed a lot. My direction hasn’t changed but the things and people around me have. But I still have my closest friends by my side. Now lets see what kind of changes I go through in the next 12 months. I always amaze myself with how much I can grow in a year.

Constantly changing;

As I get older, I’m starting to see the resemblance between my parents & I and what qualities I have inherited from each one. Last night, as we were having dinner, we were discussing a future plan. You have me & my father, so determined to make it possible, thinking of ways we can achieve it and then you have my mother, thinking negatively and only dwelling on the obstacles, making them appear bigger than they are.

I’m the same as my father, when I get an idea in my head, I focus on nothing but that idea. I may appear to be indecisive sometimes, changing my focus on a weekly, monthly basic but really, I’m usually presented with a better choice so why would I stick to something soley so I can prove I can commit to one thing?

I know I can commit so I’m not going to bother justifying or proving that to people. If I cared about proving myself to others, I would probably have completed a certificate in event management in 2008 and hated my job everyday. Instead, I left after 6 months, returned to school, completed that course and now at university, following my current direction.

So if I appear to be indecisive, gushing about a new idea, different from last weeks, don’t judge me. Don’t think, “Oh it’s only a matter of time until she finds something else to focus on” because maybe I will but it’s always for the better. And life is all about constant improvements right?

Changes;

As I was walking out the door tonight, my father presented me with a thought, something I still haven’t stopped thinking about, 6 hours later. I’ve had to change my mind a lot over the past 4 weeks. After I learnt I couldn’t get a student loan, I decided it wouldn’t be easy to save for Europe next year as well as tuition fees so I got used to the thought of traveling after uni. Then tonight, my dad told me about a property investment that is within my reach. I’m going to university so I can be a successful property tycoon (majoring in property valuation) so you can imagine why I can’t think straight right now.

Obviously there’s nothing to doubt about this idea & what an amazing opportunity I could have but my life has changed direction once again since I got back 5 weeks ago, who’s to say it won’t change again?

I think I’ve found a new direction, the piece to my missing puzzle.